I feel so broken

I feel so alone

Does this world really need me?

Lord, can you please bring me home?

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With a shattered heart

I feel so much pain

This world is corrupt

Lord, I want you to bring me home

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I’m longing to see you

Wrap me in your loving arms

I just want to feel safe again

Lord, when will you bring me home?

We turned the game Trouble, into a spanko game. Okay, I turned it into one, haha. I’m not sure Eric and Gingy appreciated the rules I came up with, but we all had a blast!

We all picked colors; Eric (red), Gingy (yellow), Cowgirl (green).

The original rules were intact, however we added a few extra!

• If you landed in another players color zone, you got spanked!
• If you landed on another player and sent them home, the person who got sent home was spanked!
• If you landed on someone and sent them home, but were in another players color zone, both players got spanked!

So that’s how we added spanking into the game. Now how did we decide what implement and how many swats? Trouble comes with a built-in dice (1 – 6); each number corresponded with an implement. So,

1. Hand
2. My Captain’s Choice padeo wood paddle
3. Eric’s London Tanner leather ruler paddle or the wooden spoon
4. Lexan paddle
5. My Black Knight Jr. paddle
6. Eric’s huge wood paddle (eeekkk) or my leather beaver tail paddle.

Now, the person whose color zone you landed, was both spanker and dice roller. We used a 30-sided dice (shown to the right) to determine the number of swats.

So say Gingy rolled a 1 and landed in red. Eric would give her a hand spanking in the amount shown on the green dice. In reality, a hand spanking rarely happened in our game. When Gingy finally got a hand spanking it was only 4 swats. haha. She actually wanted a high number for that hand!

We made exceptions, where needed, to respect each others limits. For example, Cowgirl LOVES leather, where leather is a limit for Gingy. So for every leather implement there was a non-leather alternative! Also, Cowgirl is only spanked by Eric. So, when CG landed on Gingy’s color zone, Eric spanked, but Gingy rolled the dice for the number of swats! CG doesn’t really spank, so Eric Spanked Gingy for CG! Although, when one has the chance to whack the spanker, spankees have to take advantage when they can! CG “spanked” Eric when he landed in the green zone!

Oh and I can’t forget the strategy I used to make Eric’s butt more sore. There was one paddle we all deemed useless because all the spanking was given over pants. So when Eric was supposed to get the useless implement, I sort of commandeered one of the harsher implements (typically the lexan and the padeo paddles)! So when he was bent over the couch, he didn’t necessarily see what implement i had in my hand! I always started out with the proper implement, but then gave him a really hard swat with the harsher implement. hahaha. Yes, I am a mischievous little brat. It was awesome. The looks on his face were like, “what the eff was that?”   I did this so many times, Eric started grabbing all the implements and laying on them, so they were out of my reach; all but the implement that was supposed to be used!

I told you in the beginning that Eric and Gingy weren’t always fans of the rules I made. That’s because it soon became the “Gingy game” where she was spanked damn near every turn with one of the harsher implements. On top of that, I was the one who rolled the green dice the most because she kept landing in my zone. Apparently, I had an affinity for the number 14 and up! Oddly enough, it was the spanker (Eric) who was the most sore. More so than the spankees (Gingy and I). I think Eric would agree I have a mean swing! I have to get them in when I can, so I have to make them count! So, Gingy ended getting spanked the most, Eric got spanked the hardest, and I… well, I managed to win the game!!!

It was a spankee vs spankee game: Saints’ Spank (76) vs WHATEVER (52)

Who CG started:

QB Eli Manning (23 pts); better choice than the alternative Kyle Orton (21 pts)

WR Roddy White (7 pts)

WR Mario Manningham (2 pts); could have gained 1 point if Percy Harvin was started

RB Arian Foster (1 pt); should have started Ryan Matthews (12 pts)

RB Mike Tolbert (3 pts)

TE Aaron Hernandez (9 pts)

K David Akers (6 pts); would have gained 1 point if Dan Carpenter was started

DEF Green Bay (1 pt); should have started Detroit’s defense (8 pts)

Never mind… after looking at the points I could have had, I still wouldn’t have won this match-up. My team just plain sucked!  The owner should be spanked for drafting crappy players this year! Wait… whoa… I’m not supposed to be throwing myself under the bus.

Here are the league standings:

Week 1 was good. I was on vacation, so I wasn’t paying attention to what players were out.

Before the games even began, my opponent, Fuller Brush Man aka Da Chief, started a little smack talk: “I’m gonna wipe you up on the gridiron then I’m gonna serve you pancakes!”He figured he had a shot since my team was projected 48 points to his 67 points. Apparently his team didn’t get the memo, cause WHATEVER kicked his butt!

WHATEVER (67) vs Fuller Brush Man (43)

My line up:

QB Eli Manning (19 pts; 268 passing yrds, 2 rushing yrds, 1 rushing TD)

WR Roddy White (3 pts; 61 receiving)

WR Mario Manningham (2 pts; 49 receiving)

RB Arian Foster (0 pts; out of the game. oops)

RB Mike Tolbert (21 pts; 35 rushing, 58 receiving, 3 TDs)

TE Mercedes Lewis (1 pt; 28 receiving)

K David Akers (15 pts; 4 field goals, 3 PAT)

DEF Green Bay (6 pts; allowed 34, 1 TD)

I had more points just sitting on the bench. ugh. I guess that’s how it goes some times. A win is a win! That’s all that matters!

OTK League Standings:

Yeah, I took the plunge. I bought 2 paddles and won a paddle for winning second place in the OTK Fantasy Football League. My recent trip to visit Eric, allowed us to finally test them all out

Captains Choice

I have always had an affinity for exotic wood, which made Kitty’s Exotic Paddles appealing. I am turning into a real spanko; I just had to combine my affinity for exotic wood and spanking. However, when it comes to a spanking, wood implements are my last choice. I was hoping to find a type of wood that I might actually enjoy. I’m not sure it’s possible, but I like a challenge! Kitty and I exchanged quite a few emails, with me describing what I did and didn’t like. After hearing my preferences, Kitty suggested Padeo wood. I bought the “captain’s choice” in Padeo. I asked Kitty if I ordered the paddle now, would I get it before the end of August (within 2 weeks), and she agreed! I received the paddle within a few days! Come to find out, Kitty’s supply of the paddle I ordered wasn’t in stock. So, she stayed up late and made a paddle just for me so it would ship in time. How awesome is that!!! Great customer service!!! The picture doesn’t do it justice. The depth of grain is awesome and it just glimmers in the light. It has very smooth rounded edges. I was impressed at first glance! I find it ironic that my first purchase was a wood implement.

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Kitty’s description:

Padeo is a light weight, springy wood that delivers sting and some thud. Paddles from this wood are already receiving rave reviews from their new owners. This paddle is thin and light weight. This paddle can go anywhere from light, sensual play all the way up to a strong spanking.

That description makes me look like I can’t take a hard spanking   Which is so far from the truth. I just really do not like the feel of wood. I love the color and grain of this paddle, but it didn’t win me over. I took a chance, but I just do not like wood. I am a leather girl. It’s a great paddle, don’t get me wrong. For me its great as light play, but when Eric used it harder,  it felt more like discipline. So for me, this paddle will be used more for stress-relief or when I need a harder spanking. Eric really liked this paddle and is thinking of making a purchase of his own!

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Beaver Tail

It’s no secret that I love leather. I have had my eye on a paddle from Leather Thorn Paddles for a few years now. At first I wanted the “brat paddle”, that was until I saw the “beaver tail”. Since I was in the mood for purchases, I figured, why not buy a paddle I have wanted for a very long time! I tell you, I am getting more comfortable with my spanko-self! I mean, myself! I emailed the owner of Leather Thorn and asked if I could get the beaver tail paddle before the end of August (within 2 weeks). He said, absolutely, and asked what color handle and if I wanted a heavier or lighter paddle. So I picked the darker brown handle and told him on the heavier side! I received the paddle a few days later! Talk about customer service! What a gorgeous leather paddle. I love the color contrasts. The edges are smooth and rounded. It’s a bit heavier too!

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Leather Thorn’s description:

The Beaver Tail Paddle is 12 3/4 inches overall length.  It is 4″ wide tapering down to 3″ wide. Smooth on one side.  All edges are smooth and polished. Handle colors are Red, Blue, Black, Med brown, Bugundy, amd Light Oil the same color as the blade.

I was very excited to test this paddle out. It was a long time waiting. My only regret is that I didn’t buy it sooner. Too much time wasted, so i guess i need spanked more to make up for time lost! I absolutely love this paddle. I love it, especially when used fairly hard.   For me, it offers the thud I love. I know that sounds weird because most people find that leather stings, but not for me.

In February, I won 2nd place in the OTK Fantasy Football league, and I received the Black Knight Jr. paddle donated by Cane-iac. Most of you who read here regularly, already know this, and I apologize for the redundancy. What you don’t know is my assessment of the paddle. In reality, this was the first implement I owned, but not my first purchase. While I have had it for a few months, I haven’t been able to test it out. On the whole, I don’t really have affinity or disdain for polypropylene (or similar types; acrylic, lexan, etc.) paddles. It’s really hit-or-miss for me (no pun intended). Some of them I like, some I’m indifferent, and some I just hate (aka lexan). So I was looking forward to seeing my opinion of the black knight jr., especially, since I had to wait so long to try it out.

This is truly a really nice OTK paddle made of high quality Polypropylene.  It is totally black and 12″ long, about 3″ wide and 1/4″ thick.  It has our really nice 6″ textured no-slip vinyl handle. A Really great OTK Paddle. This paddle is virtually indestructible and it FLOATS. The BLACK KNIGHT is a great all around paddle at an affordable price.

I am very pleased with my arsenal of 3! I think buying paddles is assicide, but I think I made some good choices! It was fun testing the implements out. I can’t wait until we get to use them again! *shakes head* I am turning into a full-out spanko.

Eric said the look on my face was priceless when that question was posed. He said I looked a bit horrified. lol. I was thinking, “oh hell no, we don’t want a paddle. Don’t you dare give this man a paddle.” Of course, Eric gladly took it and thanked the man with biggest grin on his face. So wrong. So we boarded the sailboat, and I quickly grabbed the paddle when he set it down and told him he was not allowed to touch it, hehe. We headed out on the lake, and all was good.

We got to the other side of the lake and just took in the beautiful scenery. It was awesome, until we wanted to move on. We set the sail in position to catch wind, but we were not moving. After, 10-15 minutes I started paddling. We still weren’t making any huge progress. So I handed the paddle to Eric, and he started trying to get us away from shore. So finally, I told Eric to lift the rudder and the stabilizer. Then, I started paddling again.  It was then, we realized we were stuck in a bog. They didn’t mark this shallow area with a buoy. It took forever to get unstuck. We did, and started sailing again. Then we got stuck on the other side, only this time we weren’t in a bog. We had wind in our sail, but the rudder would only turn right. We couldn’t get it to turn the direction we needed. It was so frustrating. So Eric started paddling again.

Another sailor, noticed we were stuck and came over to help. He told us how to work the sail. We were doing everything the guy said, but still couldn’t get anywhere. We would make some progress and then somehow would get blown back to where we started. Both of us were extremely frustrated but managed to keep laughing and having fun. In the end, I took over the sail, and Eric controlled the rudder. Three hours and two sunburned people later, we finally made it back to shore. It took us 20 minutes to get across the lake, but 2.5 hours or so, to get back. shakes head. Both of us were so happy to be on land, we almost kissed the ground, lol.

We agreed to a few things that day:

1. We are never sailing again. Either of us, never again.

2. We were both thankful for that paddle. If not for that paddle, we might still be stuck on the other side of the lake.

3. We were glad we were still laughing and still friends at the end of the adventure.

4. We never knew there was so much paddling involved in sailing.

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Moral of the story: If someone offers you a paddle. TAKE IT!!! lol.

Unfortunately, the spanko part does not involve spanking   That will change soon! I get to see Eric! I am planning some mischief, but can’t go into any details just yet. I know he checks this blog every once in a while, and I don’t want to ruin the “surprises,” hehe! **retraction of previous statements: I just found out today (8/31/11) that Eric saw this post already. After a discussion, I’m not so sure the planned mischief will partake. However, I will still have some fun stories to share!**

One prank I was warned never to pull again was the flaming caning, even though he found it humorous the first time. Since I pulled that prank the first time we met, I kept trying to convince him it was our tradition. After all, it happened every time we met! Does it really matter that it was only once? He just doesn’t agree, silly spanker. Eric told me if I whack him with a cane, I can expect the same from him. Just one problem with his logic; canes are a hard limit for me. I think I will heed his warning (this time!) and let that prank be a one-hit wonder (pun intended). All other tame pranks are a go! On a different note, I did something I swore I would never do. Last week, I bought 2 paddles and they arrived just in time. They will accompany me when I see Eric! More on these subjects to come. Stay tuned!

It’s almost football season again. I think preseason started already. I don’t really pay attention. I am not a football fan. The irony here: I participate in the OTK Fantasy Football league run by Todd and Suzy of American Spanking Society. The last two years I have come in 2nd place, only to lose to a spanker, GRRRR. The first year, my QB was benched at half-time. I had Peyton Manning. The Colts were undefeated up until that point, and secured a spot. So it was a risky play on my part; I should have benched him. So, I lost by a landslide to my boyfriend (at the time) in the championships. Last year, I made better choices, but lost by ONE point to Rich Windsor. That stung. They say third time is a charm! Perhaps I will win the championships this year! I’m not counting on that, but it could happen! My move to the East Coast might make this year more interesting too… I’m closer to spankers. You can count on a few bets! WHATEVER is gonna spank Todd’s A.S.S.! haha! Stay tuned for updates! The draft is set for Friday September 2nd!

Vanilla life has been interesting too. Finally starting to settle in, somewhat. I’m having to deal with a medical issue, which is never fun. My new insurance finally kicked in July 1st, so it was time to see a specialist or two for a previous sport related injury. Several tests later, and still no answers. Oh well. I did find one treatment that seems to help! No, I am not talking about spanking. Eric has been a complete hard-ass and would not let me return without doctor clearance. I can’t really blame him for that. He just wants me to be safe. Doesn’t mean I didn’t try to persuade his decision every chance I could.

One day, I had a lapse in good judgement. I just couldn’t handle not participating any longer. I mean, I was already out for 8 months. It was killing me. I was en route to the gym to train, when my phone rang. Guess who it was??? Yeah, it was Eric. I have a HARD time keeping things from him, even when he doesn’t ask. So I was somewhat impressed I didn’t narc on myself as soon as our conversation started. Ten minutes into the conversation and I hadn’t said a word as to where I was headed. That was until he asked what my plans were for the evening. *CRAPOLA* Why did he have to ask that? He rarely asks me my plans for the evening. It’s like he had spidy-sense. I told him I didn’t want to tell him, that he wouldn’t be pleased. All he said was, okay. So I changed the subject, and he let me. A few minutes later, guilt flooded my conscience. He knew it would, which is why he didn’t press for more information earlier. When I told him where I was headed,  all he said was that he hoped I was prepared to deal with the severe consequences. YIKES! I was starting to re-think my evening plans. That little devil on my shoulder told me, just do it, you won’t see him for a while! The conversation continued, and I managed to persuade him into letting me check it out and he and I would discuss it afterward. WHEW! I dodged a bullet. More accurately, I dodged a severe paddling. I checked out the class. We discussed it. He kept to his decision; no sport until I got doctor clearance. Heavy Sigh

Fast-forward a month. Somehow I talked the Doctor into letting me return, and in turn, Eric agreed to let me resume training! The doctor said exercise would be good, but to take it slowly. He said I could return to the sport, but no contact. That is virtually impossible! So I have been training slowly and only doing slow drills. I have been extremely careful. I really don’t want another injury, because that would cause me pain in more than one way. Eric has been pleased with how I have handled the return! Actually, training (under strict guidelines), being active again, and some massage therapy, I believe has helped the recovery process! Apparently, along side the injury, I have been battling depression. Makes sense with all that has happened in the last year. So, hopefully things will keep progressing.

Sorry for the hodgepodge post. I will do my best not to be so absent! Take care and God Bless!

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I just see a pansy with a real long paddle

You couldn’t spank, if I gave you a manual

Oh really?  let’s see how you do it

Roll up your sleeves, let’s get down to it

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Spank me with your best swat

Why don’t you spank me with your best swat

Spank me with your best swat

Fire away

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Well you can come on over here if you dare

Bring the paddle, I don’t scare

Think you can deliver pain?

I have my doubts but you can try again

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Spank me with your best swat

Why don’t you spank me with your best swat

Seriously, is that all you got?

Fire away

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Your still just a pansy with a real long paddle

You can’t even spank, and I gave you a manual

Have you even started? I can’t tell at this pace

You better make sure you put me in my place

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Spank me with your best swat

Come on, spank me with your best swat

Seriously, is that all you got?

Fire away

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Spank me with your best swat

Why don’t you spank me with your best swat

Spank me with your best swat

Fire away

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I’m not sure it totally works, but the lyrics are funny and totally Cowgirl style! Hope you got a laugh!

Now before you read, he was not saying this about me. I just wanted to make that clear!

This is part of the text I read…

“Negligence on your part doesn’t constitute an automatic emergency on my part.”

With quick wit, I replied…

“Procrastination (and/or) misbehaving on my part doesn’t constitute a spanking on your part!”

I was just trying to apply what he said to my life! lol! Of course I had to turn that saying around in my favor! Just in case it could work someday!

Somehow, Eric wasn’t going for my version of the old adage, and replied  “No, that doesn’t work, but nice try!”

Could you blame me for trying? I think not!

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Are there any other sayings we can put a spanking twist on?

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I saw this cartoon and immediately thought it looked like a new spanking position.

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I saw this while I was in Virginia last year. No explanation needed.

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I was at the beach earlier this year and found a “sea whip”. Yes, I immediately thought of spanking and how much this would hurt. My curiosity got the better of me and I actually, lightly whipped the person with me. Oh yeah, it hurt! I can attest to it to… I actually hit myself while I practiced more! Below is a video I found so you could see a “sea whip”!

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I saw this on a kayak trip and it made me smile; I am sure I even blushed a little!

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Ginger and I were in Walmart and I found this artificial calla lily. My immediate thought was a cane… a cane in disguise! So what did I do? I smacked Ginger with it, LMAO! I thought about getting Eric one, but I am safe from canes anyway!

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Now, I also cringe walking down the kitchen utensil, hair brush, and bath isles at stores; looking at all the possibilities.  Seriously, what has happened to me???